Stage Fright and Asperger Syndrome

It was about 5:30 and time to get on the road back to the school for the kiddo's third grade class performance. I had been counting kiddo down for the last 10 minutes to let him know that the time was coming. At the 10 minute mark the problems began. He did NOT want to go to this performance, he hates being in front of people and moving around and absolutely does not sing.

I walked into his room dodging the array of beanie babies flying through the air. With a little bobbing and weaving I managed to be able to get over to his bed. "Eight minutes buddy..."

"I will NOT go to the play, I don't want to go, I hate today!"

"You have eight more minutes to calm down and then we have to hit the road..."

I walked out of the room as he hollered "I won't get on the road!" I just walked out and went to pick up a few things and make sure sis was getting herself together to get going. She sat calmly on the sofa, shoes on and book in hand. Well at least they are not in melodramatic sync.

"Five minutes!"

"NO, I will not go!"

I put on a few cups of coffee to energize myself for this fight, by the time it was done brewing I was at the two minute mark. "Ok kiddo, it is time to get your shoes on. I need you to pick up the toys or they go away- you know that. Then go and get your shoes on and no talking back please."

He grumbles and far less than gently piles his toys into a bin and shoves it against the wall. He goes into the living room and gets his shoes... of course he hates his sock. "Just get them on kiddo, we need to be out the door in less than a minute." The socks fly across the room and I glare at him. He puts them on and sticks his feet in his shoes grumbling the whole time.

We get out the door, two minutes past the time I intended to, but still plenty of time to make it to the school in time. He runs down to the car and screams "OPEN THE DOOR ALREADY!!!" Without unlocking the car I come down and ask him if he has lost his ever loving mind. "You WILL NOT talk to me that way, I don't care how upset you are."

Into the car we all get and start the angry drive to the school. We get there and there is a huge line waiting to get into the school for the performance. As we wait the kiddos run around a little with classmates, much needed exertion before the show. The line starts to move and we make it in the school where principal lets us know that the kids need to go to the classrooms while we head to the auditorium. Kiddo looks at me and grumbles again and heads to his classroom.

I nervously make my way to a seat and wait for things to get going. After a few important announcements from the teachers and Parent Teacher Organization, the kids file through the door to their respective places on the stage. My anxiety starts to rise, kiddo has never ever actually participated in a performance. The most we ever got from him was actually trying to sabotage it by messing with people or things during the show. He is standing on the risers right in the middle. Oh crap, right in the middle, no escape route! Usually the music teacher keeps him close by to keep an eye on him! Ok...it will be just fine, I try to convince myself. Sis walks to her spot and smiles a huge smile at me which is startlingly contrasting to her brother's grimace.

The show begins, kiddo did the motions- clapping and bobbing up and down when called for and... he sang!!! He was visibly nervous, swaying from side to side the entire time, but he did it.  My heart swelled with such pride. There were a few moments when he had trouble; when he had to play a chime he did start to take it apart dropping the pieces on the floor and then at the end a kid in front of him sat down and he kicked her because they were supposed to remain standing. Those moments I bit my lip, but the disruption was very mild. Little sis did her thing, she loves performing. She was a little upset she didn't have a speaking part, but was also very proud of what she did get to do.

I am not sure if other parents sitting there were tearing up to see their own kids performing that night, but I was barely holding myself together. I knew that the fit that he threw earlier was because he was afraid of being in front of people and performing. I was certain that it would result in a terrible act during the show, but he was fine and he did well. He was proud of his performance too and that was the very best part of it all.

As I tucked kiddo in that night he leaned over to me and asked very quietly "mom... did you like the show?" I stepped back and looked at him and said "are you kidding me? You guys were amazing." A small smile crept across his face and he laid down and closed his eyes to sleep.

Wednesday Waffles

So a few weeks ago I bought a waffle iron and was simply overjoyed with my purchase, maybe a little more than any sane person would be with the addition of a waffle iron to the family. See, normally I am very anti-unitasker appliances... we live in little more than a shoe box with the smallest kitchen I have ever had the disdain to cook and bake in. So aside of my rice cooker and coffee maker, I don't usually use unitaskers except that I found various recipes suggesting the use of the amazing waffle maker for many things. Of course they are all waffle shaped, but OMG, the amazingness of the things I can make! Here I thought that waffles were just for breakfast or that odd mix of Chicken and Waffles.

So with my new insight into waffledom, I decided to purchase a inexpensive and small maker to work with. I decided that I was going to embark on my first adventure and purchased all the ingredients needed to make potato waffles for a breakfast thingy with sausage and eggs. I saw the image next to Silvana Nardone's recipe and HAD to have it. So in the wee early hours of St. Patty's day, MacLeod and I decided it was potato waffle time.. potatoes are irish, right? Either way, we would dine. So we set off making our meal, slightly varied from Ms. Nardone's, but AMAZING. This success fueled my desire to do more with my waffle iron.

The following Monday I had Coconut Curry Chicken on the menu and decided to do it with the waffle iron! Yes, I made chicken stuffed waffles and they were amazing. Interestingly, even kiddo liked them with all their textures and all!

This morning however, it occurred to me that I had not actually made breakfast waffles, hmm. So I decided to try something rather normal and actually make breakfast with the waffle maker. I pulled my GF/CF ingredients out and went to work on some amazing Chocolate Chip Waffles. Kiddo was pleasantly surprised to see waffles that were simply waffles.

GF/CF Chocolate Chip Waffles

1 1/2 C gluten-free flour mix
1 tsp baking powder
1 1/4 C almond milk (or rice or soy)
2 eggs
1/2 C margarine or casein-free butter, melted
2 Tbs sugar
1 tsp vanilla extract
3/4 C Casein-free mini chocolate chips

Makes about 8 waffles

Pre-heat waffle iron.

Mix together flour blend and baking powder in a large mixing bowl. In another bowl, combine milk, eggs, margarine, sugar and vanilla and whisk to combine. While mixing, slowly add the milk mixture into the dry mixture and stir until well blended.

With the using a scoop or measuring cup, pour 1/2 C of batter onto each waffle spot on the iron and spread it slightly to the edges. Close iron and allow it to cook until done. Try not to lift the top open before it lets you know its complete or you may separate the top of the waffle from the bottom.

You can enjoy your waffle with syrup or just some powdered sugar. Yum!

My kiddo has Asperger's Syndrome

After school, like any day, we followed our routine. Off the bus, walk the dogs, 10-15 minute break and then time to get to home work. After about 30-45 minutes on homework its time for another 15 minute break. Kiddo asked, begged, if it was OK to play on the Wii for this break. I don't usually let the kiddos play video games during the week because it gets adversarial and usually results in problems. It had been a long time since I let him play, so I said fine so long as you play with your sister. Great, fine, perfect. I started dinner and Grandma came by for a visit and we talked while the kids had their homework break. The minutes passed and it was time for spelling pre-testing. "Oh no mom please!!! Only 5 more minutes, we almost beat the level!" "Ok, ok, five minutes and that is IT." The level was not beat and it was time to get back to work. 

Kiddo started in with the tantrum and I immediately regretted allowing them to play the video game. He threw his spelling notebook towards the table, grabbed the baggy that his spelling words were in with his teeth ripping a hole into the bag. Grandma said she would do his pre-test, an effort to try to distract his attention and change his mood, unsuccessfully. He saw his sister had a mechanical pencil that he had been using and went over and tried to lurch it from her hand, pulling apart the pencil and stabbing her in the arm at the same time. Little Sis started crying in agonizing pain (seriously she was fine... she had a scratch, but drama is her middle name) and Kiddo had arrived at atomic meltdown stage. I told him to go to his room and he ran into it in a flurry of tears and rage. Grandma said she would go and do his test with him in his room, but I knew he needed time. I walked in and he was thrashing in his bed throwing everything from beenie babies to bed sheets across the room. 

My kiddo has Asperger's. He has a very hard time with change in routine and transitions to new activities. He can not stand when rules are not followed (especially when they address the touching or use of HIS property) He doesn't like to be touched or hugged too much and avoids eye contact. Socks drive him mad and clothing with seams set him off. Alternately, kiddo is wickedly smart. He can pull apart a mechanical pencil to its very core parts and put them back together and have it work better than it did off the assembly line. He can build unimaginable things out of Legos and blocks, even if he needs them to be organized by color before he begins. He can absorb information hearing it or seeing it only once and shock your pants off with details about a strange species of bug located in Egpyt or some other far off land. He is extremely detail oriented making the most amazing and tiny sculptures out of paper, clay or even pasta. My Kiddo is amazing. 

I walked into his bedroom, took a deep sigh and told him that he had five minutes to take a break to calm down. If he wanted to watch his T.V. program tonight, we still had to get through his spelling work. He could rage all he wanted, not breaking anything, during that five minutes, but when he was done the room needed to be back together again. 

I walked out and my mom was sitting doing Little Sis's spelling with her. Through the door that he angrily closed, I counted him down after each minute passed. At about 3 minutes he poked his head out, throwing pencils that his sister had allegedly stolen from him. He went back in and continued his tirade. I gave him his four minute count and a few moments later he walked out of his room, which was put back together again. He grabbed his notebook again and muttering to himself about how he didn't want to be around and that today was just horrible but sat at the table with a pencil to hear his spelling words for his pre-test. 

Grandma and I just kept things light, poking a little fun at him to lighten his spirit. Though he was a little irritated by it, he wrote his spelling words as they were called, not misspelling one of them. I told him he had done a great job and that we should go ahead and make dessert because they had definitely earned it.

 

Kiddo worked on mixing together the ingredients for the dessert and Little Sis helped get the table set and dinner finished. By the time MacLeod walked in the door and dinner was on the table, kiddo was happy, smiling and joking again. It took over an hour, but he was back to his normal again. 

Each day comes with its challenges, but it also comes with its rewards. I wouldn't change Kiddo for anything in the world because even though we have our difficulties, there is so much about him that is special and I love each and every bit of it. 

MacLeod does it badass

Remember that scene from Pirates of the Caribbean where Captain Jack tips his hat to the obvious dangers that he faced ahead of him? Did he turn his leaky little sail boat back? Did he have a nervous quiver? Nope. He just kept on going because, well Jack Sparrow is badass and so is MacLeod.

After a rather rough marriage (understatement of the year), I had no delusions that my life would probably be spent alone with my kiddos. I dated here and there but when it really came down to it, the guys made it abundantly clear that I was not a long term option because of my “baggage” as one “gentleman” called it. But if a guy (not man) was not big enough or grown up enough to be able to love me AND my baggage, then he certainly was not the person for us.
Interestingly enough, a co-worker also told me that I was trying entirely too hard to find a man and that I had probably already met the person I was supposed to spend my life with. How true he was! I met MacLeod when I was in middle school and we lived nearly parallel lives two blocks away from each other through middle school and high school. We both became unhappily married with two kids, the exact same ages. Then we both divorced and, (haha!) joined Facebook.

When we started going out (after reconnecting on Facebook), I was unsure that I could date a guy who was as nice and kind as MacLeod was. I felt that I had figured out that there was no man on this earth who would want to take on a single mom of two kids, one with Asperger’s Syndrome and a feeding tube. So I was totally and completely honest with him… on our first date. And folks, that crazy pirate came back for more.

Since that first date we never looked back, even though I showed him the door over and over thinking that he would definitely take the easy way out. He never even considered it, I thank God for that. It took time, but I realized that there are real men still out there to be had. Of course though, the most important thing is that my kiddo fell in love with him too.